I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
