You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
