Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also fuck yeah conspiracy