yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.