I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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