apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
