Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
