there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
