I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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