And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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