finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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