my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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