She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
