oh god the rape fog is back!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize