They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
