They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
