Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
