I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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