sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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