I cannot find my penis.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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