so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
do herpes really smell.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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