i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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