I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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