She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
