you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we're making bets on your personal life
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
