ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
