Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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