Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
