I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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