let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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