is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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