the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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