so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
