Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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