Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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