Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
