I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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