I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this just has baby written all over it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize