white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
