trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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