This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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