ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
