Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
