dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
