Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize