Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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