I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
