at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will be naked everywhere
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
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All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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