he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
