p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
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So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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