Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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