That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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