You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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