Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
