when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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