Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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