I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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