I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
