What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
