like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Blood and glitter go together right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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