I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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