Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
