so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
