my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
