Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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