i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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