dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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